Skip to content

What is the Story You Tell Yourself?

Have you ever said any of the following sentences?

  • I am not good at school
  • I am not an outdoors person
  • I don’t like exercising
  • I am not handy
  • I am not interested in long-term relationships
  • I just love to relax

Then chances are you are telling yourself a story about who you are that holds you back from creating the best version of yourself.

The good news is that you can change this story.

In fact, you can rewrite the story of who you are exactly how you want it to be.

In this article, I will show you how.

Rationalization

Rationalization is a psychological defense mechanism that our brain uses to explain unwanted behavior or feelings in a seemingly logical way.

This means that we create an excuse for ourselves for why we didn't do or think in the way the best version of ourselves would have done.

Rationalization provides us with a defense mechanism against guilt and shame. In this way, our brain is simply trying to protect us.

But wouldn't it be even better if you could notice the instances where your brain attempts to rationalize, and instead make a conscious choice based on who you want to be?

Our Identity Affects How We See the World

The danger of rationalization is that the excuses we create for ourselves become part of our identity.

This shapes the way we see the world based on our excuses.

We see the world, not as it truly is, but as we are.

  • Stephen Covey, 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

This is bad news if you want to become the best version of yourself.

This results in you creating limitations for yourself based on your perception of the world, rather than how the world actually is.

Carol Dweck has popularized the concepts of "fixed vs growth" mindset:

  • Fixed mindset: The belief that basic personal qualities are fixed traits.
  • Growth mindset: The belief that basic personal qualities can be developed.

Dweck has shown that students with a "growth mindset" are much more likely to take on new challenges and achieve better results.

By adopting a growth mindset regarding who we are, we can begin to develop the qualities we desire ourselves.

We can become the person we want to be.

That’s powerful.

From "Not Built for Endurance" to Ultramarathon Runner

When I was in the military, I had several experiences where I did not live up to the person I truly wanted to be. I had an inner desire to perform excellently in all physical areas. I did well in all competitions over a short duration, but when it came to prolonged endurance exercises lasting more than a few hours, I repeatedly experienced unbearable cramps.

One time, during a march event, where you run with a pack and rifle for 30km, I got such severe cramps that I nearly had to crawl backwards to the finish line in the last kilometers.

This was a negative experience for me, but fortunately, my brain created an excuse I could hide behind: "I am not built for endurance. I have fast-twitch muscle fibers, which means I will never excel in prolonged endurance exercises."

This story became part of my identity for over ten years.

Then in 2016, motivated to start running again after reading the amazing book Born to Run, I began to question the story I was telling myself.

I read up on endurance training and had an aha moment.

I was introduced to the concepts of MAF-HR and "nose breathing," which, in short, showed me how incredibly low intensity I needed to train at to build aerobic endurance.

In all those previous years, I had run at too high an intensity to build proper aerobic endurance, which was the actual cause of my prior experiences.

By implementing these principles and gradually building up my volume and intensity, I completed the Ultrabirken (60km race) in 2019, with a duration exceeding seven hours for me.

I have had many incredible experiences through running, which have proven to be a delightful way for me to find "flow."

I changed the story I told myself, and it enriched my life immensely.

From "Not Good at School" to Bachelor's Degree with Multiple A's

My wife defined herself quite similarly…

Conclusion

Changing the narrative you hold about yourself can transform your life.

Recognize the stories that limit you, challenge them, and choose to rewrite your identity.

Happy Learning!

Explanation of Features Used

  • Headings (#, ##, ###): Organize content into sections and subsections.
  • Bold and Italics: Emphasize text using **bold** and *italics*.
  • Blockquotes (>): Highlight quotes or important information.
  • Admonitions: Special blocks like notes, tips, and warnings using !!! notation.
  • Inline Code and Code Blocks: Display code snippets using backticks `code` and triple backticks for blocks.
  • Code Highlighting: Use hl_lines to highlight specific lines in code blocks.
  • Tabs (=== "Tab Name"): Organize content into tabbed sections for different languages or perspectives.
  • Lists and Task Lists: Create ordered and unordered lists, including checkboxes.
  • Tables: Display data in a tabular format using pipes |.
  • Footnotes: Add additional information or references at the bottom using [^1].
  • Images: Embed images with optional attributes like width.
  • Emojis: Add emojis using Unicode characters.
  • Definition Lists: Use terms and definitions for glossary-style lists.
  • Links: Embed hyperlinks using [link text](URL).
  • Strikethrough: Indicate removed or outdated content using ~~text~~.
  • Horizontal Rules (---): Separate content sections visually.
  • Mermaid Diagrams: Create diagrams and flowcharts within code blocks labeled as mermaid.
  • Callouts with Icons: Use custom admonitions with icons for emphasis.
  • Inline HTML: Incorporate HTML elements for additional styling (used sparingly for compatibility).

Tips for Using This Template

  • Customization: Replace placeholder content with your own text, quotes, code, and images.
  • Consistency: Maintain consistent heading levels and formatting throughout your documents.
  • Testing: Preview your Markdown files to ensure that all features render correctly with your MkDocs theme.
  • Extensions: Enable necessary Markdown extensions in your mkdocs.yml to support features like footnotes, admonitions, and Mermaid diagrams.
markdown_extensions:
  - admonition
  - footnotes
  - codehilite
  - pymdownx.highlight
  - pymdownx.superfences
  - pymdownx.tabbed
  - pymdownx.emoji
  - pymdownx.tasklist
  - pymdownx.tilde
  - pymdownx.arithmatex
  - pymdownx.details
  - pymdownx.mark
  - pymdownx.caret