If you were expecting a food recipe when you clicked on this link, I must disappoint you. This is not an article about hamburgers in themselves.
It is an article about hamburgers as a metaphor.
A metaphor for the goals we strive for and the choices we make in life. What drives our goals has an enormous impact on our quality of life over time.
I have had quite an incredible rollercoaster ride on my own journey in pursuit of various goals. The experiences have been incredibly varied.
Some goals have made me feel really bad.
Some goals have been very motivating but left a feeling of emptiness when I achieved them.
Certain goals have been motivating, even though I know I can never reach them.
I was left with an unclear picture of how one can set goals that actually improve quality of life. The ultimate goal.
I was left with questions such as:
- Should I even set goals at all?
- Which types of goals are worth the effort?
- Why do some types of goals give a feeling of emptiness even when I have achieved them?
- Which types of goals make me happy?
Hamburgers provided the answers to these questions.
The hamburger metaphor is based on an idea by Tal Ben Shahar, PhD, author and the man behind the course that was Harvard’s most popular course (Positive Psychology 101). I have tried to build on the model and add my own experiences to make the metaphor easier to understand.
This concept was an incredible eye-opener for me to understand how various types of goals and choices have affected my quality of life over the years and has given me a valuable framework to evaluate future goals I consider setting for myself.
I hope it can be of use to you as well.
The One Who Doesn’t Care
“..an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables, slaves with white collars, advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don’t need.”
-Tyler Durden (Brad Pitt), Fight Club
As a teenager, I had no particular goals. I hadn’t really thought much about the “big picture.” I was not inclined to utilize my time on this planet well. I didn’t view my life as a heroic journey and didn’t think I had the potential or need to accomplish anything positive in my life. What did my small choices mean in the grand scheme of things?
This is the teenager who quits sports because it feels pointless.
This is the worker who just does what he is told, without thinking about why.
This is one who has no significant goals.
This is the 10-kroner McDonald’s burger. The burger that doesn’t taste very good. It’s not particularly nutritious either.
This is the one who doesn’t see the point in setting goals.
It’s the one who doesn’t care.
It’s a rather meaningless existence, with little hope and optimism. It doesn’t provide good quality of life.
The Indulger
«[The phone] shouldn’t just be turned off; it should be put away in a box for large parts of the day. It’s nothing that puts me in a better mood. It’s rules upon rules. I’m preparing for what I will say when they take the phone from me. I mean, if they want to treat me like a little child, I will feel like acting like a little child»
-Nicklas Bendtner to nrk.no
In my youth, alcohol, junk food, and casual sex were a big part of life. I made choices that maximized pleasure in the short term, often to the great frustration of the future version of myself. Learning, growth, and sports were sacrificed in favor of partying (In hindsight, I see that there was some learning in the partying too). The feeling of not moving in the direction I wanted often appeared on Sundays.
This is the talent that doesn’t love all aspects of their sport.
The talent that wants to play football but also party.
This is the couch potato who enjoys chips and beer several times a week.
This is the double Angus burger with 4 slices of cheese, extra dressing, and fries. The burger that tastes fantastic in the moment but doesn’t feel so good afterward.
This is the one who isn’t willing to do the hard things now to achieve long-term goals.
By prioritizing short-term pleasure over long-term joy, you betray your future self. The chances are high that you will feel the betrayal eventually.
The Striver
I hated every minute of training, but I said, ‘Don’t quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion.’ -Muhammad Ali
As a bodybuilder, I have gone through some quite ascetic periods during competition prep. I have eaten only cod and broccoli for weeks on end, with 3-4 hours of grueling workouts every day. I have turned down countless opportunities for socializing in my pursuit of trophies.
This is the athlete who tortures themselves like an ascetic to become a champion.
This is the entrepreneur who works 20 hours a day just for the money.
This is the diligent student who does everything to get good grades.
This is “the burger,” made of some lettuce leaves and a few vegetables. It doesn’t taste particularly good, but could give a feeling of having eaten very healthily.
This is the one who sacrifices joy in the moment for a possible future reward.
The problem is that the long-term reward is short-lived, if it is even fulfilled at all. What will be next, a new goal, new sacrifices of momentary joy?
The Balanced Striver
The key is to learn to love doing what seems difficult in the short term to realize long-term goals.
The long-term goals must be closely tied to one’s most important values.
In 2016, I conducted a thorough reevaluation of my career. After a thorough process of self-reflection and exploration, I discovered that I wanted to set a long-term vision of becoming Norway’s best Data Scientist. This is a goal that you can’t really measure, but it was nonetheless a useful goal for me because it provided me with direction. I could ask myself every morning; “What would Norway’s best Data Scientist do today?” In the job of Data Scientist, I loved every day. I enjoyed the moments (even though not all tasks were equally engaging) and understood that it was the journey itself that is important. Working hard toward the goal built a character that would give me things I valued highly.
This is the writer who writes every day, regardless of whether she is motivated or not.
This is the special forces operative who looks forward to the toughest exercise because he knows that it’s a chance to build character.
This is the 24-hour athlete, who does everything that is required to be the best. He goes to bed with a satisfied smile, knowing that he has done his best every day.
This is the healthy burger that tastes good. Here, a combination of good ingredients and flavor enhancement has made it taste good while being healthy.
This is the one who finds joy in making the difficult choices in the short term with a long-term goal in mind. The long-term goal is not a prerequisite for well-being, but arises as a consequence of finding joy in giving your best every day.
The balanced striver understands that the journey is the goal itself. Reaching the destination is not something we need to focus on so much.
The Hamburger Model
By categorizing the four archetypes according to their short-term and long-term effect on joy, we can place them in their respective corners of a quadrant.
There are, of course, many nuances that could and/or should be included here.
All models are wrong, but some models are useful.
The hamburger model has been a useful tool for me to evaluate how past goals and motivations have influenced my quality of life, and not least as a filter I can use when potential goals that might seem attractive arise in the future.
The hamburger model has already helped me to “forego” commitment to goals that I know would not have been a great source of lasting joy.
Practical Tips
Finally, here are some practical tips on how you can use the insights from the model.
Reflect on past goals Think about goals you have worked toward. Did you achieve them? How did you feel then? Did you manage to enjoy the journey toward the goal?
Find useful activities that you enjoy doing. These are activities that have an impact on both the short and long term. Physical activity. Gardening. Jumping on the trampoline with the kids.
Learn to enjoy “tiring” activities. Consider that even if you don’t derive pleasure from them in the short term, you know that you’re building willpower by doing them, and that can be used to help you learn to enjoy these activities.
Celebrate for yourself every time you do something well. It can be giving yourself praise when you don’t eat that piece of cake you really didn’t need. It could be giving yourself a high-five in the mirror after you’ve tackled that boring task you were dreading.
It’s difficult. But important.
Sources of Inspiration
- Tal Ben Shahar, “Happier”, “Being Happy”
- hamburgers
- eudaimonic happiness
- quality of life
- tal ben shahar
- model
- willpower
- self-discipline